Tesla owners get a present from Elon Claus every holiday season, and it’s always equal parts useful and weird.
The automaker always rolls out its largest software update of the year around the holidays. The annual holiday update typically includes real quality-of-life improvements and the kind of goofy Easter eggs Tesla is known for.
The 2023 version is rolling out this week and doesn’t disappoint. Well, it might disappoint the neighbors if you lack restraint when it comes to bleating goat noises. We’ll explain.
First, the Quality-of-Life Stuff:
The update is the same for every Tesla vehicle, whether a Model S, X, Y, 3, or the all-new Cybertruck.
It adds a critical safety feature: Teslas will now “automatically call 911 if an accident triggers the airbags.” Enhanced blind-spot indicators will alert the driver if they signal a turn while a car is in their blind spot.
Sentry mode — the feature that allows you to use the external cameras to film the car’s surroundings — will now include access to the two pillar cameras, giving it a total of seven angles.
Related: Report — Tesla Workers Shared Private Images Captured by Cars
The park assist function will now display a 3D rendering of the car’s surroundings on the display screen.
Then, the Entertainment:
The annual holiday update is traditionally at least half entertainment. This year’s list includes features that will make parents happy and neighbors annoyed.
Parents will be happy to hear the update supports gaming on the rear touchscreen found in newer designs. They can also connect wireless headphones to that screen so you don’t have to listen to the kids’ games.
Speaking of games, Tesla has added Castle Doombad, Beach Buggy, Polytopia, and Vampire Survivors to the arcade function. Apple Podcasts are now accessible through the entertainment system.
And … sigh … ok, we have to do this. But does Tesla have to do this?
Owners can now replace the lock sound with a loud screaming goat noise played through the external speakers. If, like us, you need to compulsively lock the car at least twice as you walk away, that should get old fast. But Tesla wouldn’t be Tesla without at least one meme joke, would it?
Tesla updates traditionally roll out gradually over several days, so if you haven’t seen it on your screen yet, it will probably reach you before New Year’s.
