“Grandpa, what were the 2020s like?”
The old man stops bouncing the child on his knee. Just freezes. He’s silent long past the point of awkwardness. His eyes glaze.
“It was a monstrous time. The world hardened. A land war in Europe. Artificial intelligence was new, and no one could tell what was real anymore…you can’t imagine what that does to a mind…no one knew what was real…disinformation spread like disease. So did disease. And they built these machines…unworldly machines…combining things nature kept separate…unnatural things…an off-road minivan…”
The words come out staccato, his breathing uneven. “A dune-riding Porsche. Who ever heard of such a thing? The pope in a puffy coat. We believed that one. Heh. An off-road Lamborghini. And that cursed Mustang Raptor…”
We cut to a Ford factory in an electrical storm. It’s 2026. Ford CEO Jim Farley cackles. A 5.0-liter Coyote V8 engine roars to life. A Mustang begins to move. But wait…all four wheels are getting power.
The 2023 Porsche 911 Dakar
What Nature Forbids, Engineers May Forge
It could be real. Car and Driver reports, “Deep within Ford’s Dearborn headquarters, there’s a mindset to Raptorize everything.” It started where it should have started, with the F-150 Raptor. It moved on to logical things, like the Bronco Raptor. But it could spread out of control.
“As the seventh-generation Mustang reaches dealerships later this fall, and the inevitable street-oriented performance models follow,” C&D says, a “Raptor variant should arrive in 2026.”
It will use the 5.0-liter V8 found in other high-performance Mustangs but powering all four wheels through a 10-speed automatic transmission, the magazine speculates. “Fox Live Valve dampers will pad the landings when it’s time to get all Bo and Luke Duke.” Skid plates will protect the undercarriage, and a 2-inch suspension lift will help it clear trail obstacles.
Car and Driver expects a price of around $90,000.
The Lamborghini Huracán Sterrato
Prior Insanities Have Become Real
It’s all speculation for now. And we’d say it will stay there. But Porsche really did it. Lamborghini really did it. And automakers, eyeing ever-increasing interest rates, are aware that low-income shoppers are out of the new car market. More and more, they’re turning their attention toward limited-edition models meant to appeal to wealthier buyers and collectors. That makes strange, low-volume experiments more attractive.
So stuff is getting weird. Thousand-horsepower drag racers for the street. Off-road vans for van lifers. Everything is possible. Frankly, we thought we’d get a Maverick Raptor first. But we haven’t come to terms with the age of the talking car and the Ferrari SUV.
Someday, perhaps, markets will stabilize and affordable commuter cars will be a profitable business again. But, for now, we live with chimeras and muscle cars on mud tires. We’ll tell our grandchildren about it someday. With proper therapy.
